Anti-Antiracist Baby
To build the next Republican majority, the GOP must start early.
Editor’s note: Backbencher has obtained an exclusive copy of the manuscript to Senator Ted Cruz’s forthcoming children’s book, Anti-Antiracist Baby, written in answer to Ibram X. Kandi’s Antiracist Baby. We reprint it here because, as the confirmation hearings for Supreme Court nominee Ketanji Brown Jackson amply demonstrate, it’s never too early to introduce America’s youth to the pillars of white grievance.
Babies are taught to be racist or antiracist—there’s no neutrality.
Take these seven steps to make white resentment a reality!
1. Tell Black folks one thing, white folks another.
Anti-Antiracist Baby plays make-believe,
Telling Black Baby, “I don’t see race.”
Then he tells White Baby in his next breath
“These Blacks Babies don’t know their place!”
2. Blow your dog whistle.
If you want to condescend
To Black Baby in debate,
Never miss a chance to say
“You are so articul-ate.”
3. Insist no one is less racist than anti-antiracist baby.
“I’m not racist,” you must say,
“I’m the least racist person there is.”
Then say something nice about Martin Luther King,
And be sure to call him “Doctor.”
4. Deny our differences.
Anti-Antiracist Baby says, “Black Baby, you’re no different.
“You are just like me.
“You eat hamburger casserole with mayo
“and watch NASCAR on TV.”
5. Call Black Baby a child molester.
Black Baby is a Democrat
And therefore molests kids!
You can’t say that, but you can call Black Baby soft on pedophilia
Then watch him hit the skids!
6. Never apologize for anything.
None of us is perfect. We all say racially offensive things sometimes.
Black Baby says take it back: “Why would you wish to harm me?”
Anti-Antiracist Baby answers: “Who’s gonna make me? You and what army?”
7. Blame your problems on you-know-who.
Look, who knows why life isn’t working out for you?
Maybe it’s your toxic personality.
But when Anti-Antiracist Baby feels low,
He blames a female Black Nominee!